I asked, “Would you be married if you had cohabited before?” Vehemently and instantaneously they responded, “NO!” And so we begin chapter two: Marrieds to Singles; Singles to Marrieds – Cohabiting.
Don’t get me wrong here, this is a response that several happily married couples have given every time we discuss this topic – which is disturbingly quite often. These young women and men are so in love but continue to claim that they wouldn’t be together had they lived together before that ostentatious wedding ceremony. Their reason: “if I had truly known the person I was getting married to, I would have had enough time to understand him/her better and accept his/her habits before getting disappointed. I have cried and gotten hurt to the point where I had to accept the person and work my way towards loving them for who they truly are. Marriage reveals so much about a person that I believe nobody should dive in before testing the waters.”
I couldn’t help but compare that response to my products at #Livara. People are always interested in “first trying out the smaller size of the product” to “see how it feels” before sealing their love affair with our very addictive brand of natural products. Usually after a month, our esteemed clients call back for the bigger size, the 200g can, of the product and are even more willing to try out more of our range. Cosmetics are a lifestyle choice and we always settle with what works best for us. But unlike marriage, we have the choice to change a product whenever we feel like it.
Cohabiting surely does reveal your partner’s true nature but it tarnishes the sanctity of marriage. But then again, in our traditional societies, when a man lived with a woman, they were considered married. Society today requires a us to have a formal ceremony to legalize the union. So, is cohabiting wrong? It is quite the conundrum, my friend.
“I shall advise my daughter to first cohabit before she gets married,” said a staunch Christian married lady I know and one I greatly respect. She didn’t cohabit prior her wedding and she wishes only the best for her daughter.
In my opinion, repeated dating is good prior the wedding and is even better in the company of your friends. For it is through such gatherings that you witness some of the hidden character traits of the person you presumably love. Some enjoy their beer – they’ll down at least 3 bottles in an hour; some enjoy music – they’ll play and listen to it till the break of dawn; some enjoy too much attention – like babies that always need their mother’s breast; some are quarrelsome and easily driven to anger; and then some just don’t want to “chill” with your friends – run as fast as you can away from these. Then there are some that constantly crop up with excuses of not being with you – these usually have something to hide and you have to open your eyes wider.
I also believe that marriage is like a business. A risk that one takes without knowing the outcome. You can only predict and plan the journey but you are never certain of the actual details of how things will turn out. It may succeed, it may fail. What matters most is that you try and give it your best short. Cohabiting would be comparable to the field testing phase which happens when the project/business is already underway. In this case, after the wedding day. But then again, that’s just my belief.
In the end, there is a higher power, the Almighty God in my case, that guides our paths, our very intricately different paths. The path I take may not necessarily be similar to the one you take and it is not my part to judge you for that. There is only one person/being/force that divinely directs our paths to the ultimate finish line.
Cohabit or don’t, just be happy. Have that beautiful smile on your face as you either commit your sins as you await judgement on the final day or go by the book and still make mistakes that await judgement on the final day. But be happy and radiant while at it. Your beauty and health depend on your happiness. Don’t mess that up!